why isnt things going back to normal this time round?
i thought it'll be okay once i wake up just like the previous times..
i miss you.
i really miss you.
i want you back in my life.
those morning calls, late night chats,
even those things we did tgt.
everyone around me says that you're a bastard.
i hate myself. really.
why cant i just stop thinking about it but keep crying
whats the use of crying? huh?
you said you're gonna prove to me your love the first time.
i've seen it.
and you gave me the courage to trust again.
im sorry i told you that we should just forget it since you're worrying about her stuff.
i didnt treasure that chance.
and im regretting alot.
why are you going back to her
even though you know shes just playing a fool with you?
yesterday night was hell for you and i know it.
i really dont want you to be all fucked up and be in the middle.
thats why i said that im okay if you dont mind getting hurt by her.
i thought lieing to myself and you would be best for us.
i didnt know it would hurt this much this time round.
and i dont know why is everything happening like this.
i am missing you so much right now.
and i just realised how much you've taken up my life within such a short period of time.
i let you in my heart and its being torn apart every second now.
jie told me that i should just blame that the timing wasnt right.
our love hasnt stablized when everything happened.
and its true to a point.
i dont care about everything now.
i dont care if you're using me.
i dont care if you're just lying to me and fucking around with me.
i dont mind waiting till you get all hurt and your heart dies because of her.
i want to share everything with you.
i want to be with you, cry with you, suffer with you.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
sorry.
im really grateful to cas and jie for yesterday.
if they're werent there,
i would have just gone crazy.
just like now.
i know you guys care for me,
but i cant do anything to help myself.
it really hurts.
i love you i love you i love you.
i know you wont be able to read this stuff that i want to tell you,
but dont have the courage to.
i'll always be waiting.
